ALL THINGS ARE RELATIVE (#73): When I first started work at Fisher & Sauls, to the dismay of my parents and my St. Petersburg girlfriend, I moved back into my old room and lived at home. My father tried to convince me to get an apartment and buy a sports car. Nancy said, “I thought you were cheap because you were in law school. You’re just cheap.” She eventually got tired of waiting on me, married someone else, and had children.
I was undeterred. I was going to save the downpayment for a house in Pass-a-grille as quickly as I could. Then an event happened that changed my life. A year later I was living in a big two story red brick house, with a yard that was a square block, right on the beach. Being determined had paid off more than I ever could have imagined, thanks to the kindness and generosity of a somewhat distant relative, my great-grandfather’s niece, Mrs. Marie Neville.
My great-grandfather, a U.S. Congressman for two terms under the Taft administration, began coming to Pass-a-grille during the winters of the late 1890’s. My father’s family built several houses in Pass-a-grille, the last being a large house on the bay built by my grandfather. My grandfather had sold the house his father had built on the beach and moved to the bayside so he could have a covered dock behind the house for his 40” Elco Cabin Cruiser and Chris Craft speedboat.
Governor Keith Neville was 32 years old when elected governor of Nebraska in 1916. He was an avid sportsman and loved to hunt and fish in Florida during Nebraska winters. In 1938, Governor Keith Neville built a big house on the beach for his wife and four daughters, Virginia Neil, Mary Nelson, Francis, and Irene. While my family’s house was sold in 1956, Mrs. Neville maintained their Pass-a-grille home after Governor Neville died in 1959. “Cousin Marie” and her family always came south from North Platte, Nebraska for the winter. Her four daughters all had children, so I had lots of 3rd cousins.
When Cousin Marie came to Florida during the winter of 1975 and found that I was living at home with my parents, she offered to let me use the servant’s quarters of her house. This was basically the third bay of a large three car garage. It had three windows, one facing west to the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf, and one by the door facing the main house. The back of the room had two closets, one with a window and a sink and a toilet. This was essentially a brick room, the size of a one car garage, with no insulation, no hot water, and no heat.
But, I was living on the Gulf of Mexico and I love it! I can never adequately thank Cousin Marie, her children, and her grandchildren. They gave me a free place to live in a location I had always dreamed of living, and treated me with the kindness and respect of a family member.
There was a lattice work shower stall by the back entrance to the house. No hot water, but I was tough. I bought two fans and a college dorm size mini-refrigerator. When my mother asked me what I wanted for Christmas of 1975, the answer was easy, an electric blanket. When it was too cold to take an outdoor cold shower, I just took my clothes to my parents house, had a shower, and then dressed for work.
When Cousin Marie and her family returned to PAG in the winter of 1976, I was still working at Fisher & Sauls. I hadn’t met Paul Thomas yet, so it had been a quiet year at the Neville house. When Cousin Marie realized that I had been taking cold showers for 10 months, she did the most amazing thing. She asked me if if I would move into the main house and house sit for her. She said it was a comfort the past year to know that someone was keeping a close eye on the house. She actually made it sound like I was helping her, not just being a freeloader. She was truly, in every sense of the word, a fine lady!
My third cousins that I got to know best were the three children of the youngest Neville daughter Irene, and her husband Roy Bystrom. Irene moved to Sarasota after her husband died so we all kept in touch. The oldest child, Trisha lives in Coronado, California and has a daughter and granddaughter in France. The youngest son, Bill moved to St. Pete Beach and I sold him a house. Then he met and married Jeanne Holmes and they built a home in Holmes Beach. Bill is a veterinarian with a clinic in Bradenton, and has been joined by his son Connor, DVM.
Bill and his sons inherited the outdoorsman gene from his grandfather, and Jeanne is always right there with them. I caught my last tarpon (of 4) with Bill and that afternoon was hospitalized with atrial fibrillation. Bill later told me, “If I knew you were going to have a heart attack, I wouldn’t have made you work so hard.” It wasn’t a heart attack, and I have been fine since I had an ablation for the atrial fib.
Keith Bystrom, who is my age, is a retired attorney now living back in Nebraska with his wife Dianne. Keith is the family historian, and an adventurer. He has made it a project to follow the 3,700 mile long Lewis and Clark National Historic Trail. He gets his interest in family history from his Grandmother. Almost everything I know about the Simmons family going back past my great-grandfather, I learned from Cousin Marie. For instance, Abraham Simmons of Seaford in Sussex, England came to the Province of Maryland in 1643.
From Cousin Marie I also learned that my father’s family had been active in the Revolutionary War. Captain Abraham Simmons formed an infantry company “composed of 9 officers, 39 privates and having 30 guns.” James Simmons, a son of Captain Abraham enlisted in an artillery company on July 6th, 1776. He served through two enlistment and “thereafter was appointed Military Aide to the Governor of Maryland with the rank of Colonel.”
On my Dad’s mother’s side of the family there was Captain Benjamin Walker, who fought at the battle of Bunker Hill. He led 50 men in an attack of the British flank along the Mystic River. He was wounded, captured, and died in Boston Jail. I would have had no idea of any of this with Cousin Marie and the research she finished in 1956 with the help of her daughter Mary Virginia Robertson.
I got to know my cousins Shari & Lisa Hansen when they come to St. Petersburg. Shari attended Eckerd College. I am still in touch with Shari Hansen Fry, and her son Brian and his bride Regina have come to visit in SMA. The photo is my family and Shari and Lisa (I don’t believe brother John was born yet) with their mother, Mary Ann, on the sun porch of the Neville beach house.
I also keep in touch with cousins Lynn Evert, Eloise Tesar, and Ann Landes. Ginger Talbot is now a very favorite cousin, since she and her husband Tom spent time in SMA in 1970. Tom was an artist, and one of my favorite photos is of a mural Tom painted that is still in the dining room of an older hotel on Calle de Canal. On our first trip to SMA, Cathy and I took a photo from exactly the same spot where Tom was standing when he envisioned the mural.
In two years I saved $6,500 living in the Neville beach house. Not bad for an attorney making $12,000 year to start. I cashed in a life insurance policy my parents had bought for me for $2,000, and was able to put $8,500 down on a $34,000 lot. The 75’ x 110’ lot on the bay was only one house away from my grandparent’s last house in PAG. The equity in the lot eventually increased and I was able to use it for an 80% loan to pay off the mortgage balance on the lot and build a house.
Thank you Cousin Marie, and all of my Neville cousins.
The title for this article comes from the closing of a letter Cousin Irene wrote to my father, explaining the relationships between the members the Simmons and Neville families. She went into detail about cousins, second cousins, third cousins, and second and third cousins once and twice removed and concluded, “Now – the whole thing is solved. All things are relative.”
