ROUGH START TO OUR WEDDING DAY (#12): We were to get married on a Sunday. The plan was to go to the 11:00 service at the Pass-a-grille Beach Community Church, change clothes and have Rev. Emily Bell marry us on the beach across the street from the church with family and a few friends, then take everyone to lunch at the Pass-a-Grille Beach Yacht Club. I put my Tux in the car and walked up to the Don Ce Sar, where I was a Beach Club Member, for a swim and a sauna. Cathy was going to take her time to get ready and I would come home and change.
When I got home, Cathy was sitting outside with Maddie and shouted, “I’m not sure I’m going to marry you. Go do something about that bird!” It seems my 19 year-old Yellow Naped Amazon parrot, Dylan, was upset by the pending nuptials. I could hear him screeching at the top of his lungs
Cathy had been try to give Dylan a piece of banana when he flew off the perch on the top of his cage by the kitchen window and bit her on the neck. Cathy swatted him off to the floor and he chased her into the living room. She tried to fend him off with a fireplace poker, but Dylan just hopped on and started walking up the poker towards her fingers. Cathy dropped the poker and and ran out the front door with Maddie.
I went in the house with Dylan still squawking, got him on my finger and took him into my bathroom, where he liked to sit on the shower curtain rod. Then I went back to Cathy and convinced her it was safe to come back in the house and to marry me. When we came in the front door, we could Dylan whisper, “Scott.” Then a little louder, “Scott.” Then he started screaming, “Scott! Scott, Scott!” I had to put Dylan in his cage and cover it with the blanket I used at night.
We went to the church and were married. Three months later I put and add in the paper and sold Dylan to a woman who wanted a companion for her African Grey. I kept my fingers crossed for a few weeks, hoping she wouldn’t bring him back.
After I bought Dylan, I sold my first parrot twice. The first man brought Kuka, a Red Lored parrot, back for a refund. It seems Kuka’s perfect imitation of a man standing up, taking a leak with the bathroom door opened really got on his wife’s nerves. Kuka already knew how to do that when I bought him.
Turns out that Maddie the Wonder Dog was such an incredible furry person that I never missed Dylan.
